After a breakup, you will likely experience a wide range of emotions: everything from sadness, grief, depression, and anger to relief, satisfaction and peace. These tips on restoring calm after your breakup will help you move past the negatives toward acceptance, joy, and freedom.
This article was inspired by one brave woman’s words to her husband, who was cheating on her. She discovered how to make her peace with him after their breakup. She told him, “I’m letting you go,” which led her to an enormous amount of peace. She wanted that peace to always stay with her, but that wasn’t the case. Some days, she felt just fine—great, actually. She’d feel optimistic, filled with high hopes for a brighter future for all involved.
But these were interspersed with “terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days”—days in which she wished she could crawl into a box and just stay there. She reports that there’s often no rhyme or reason to her emotions.
The joy and serenity that came with acceptance was her way of finding inner peace after her breakup. Keep in mind, though, that what works for other people might work for you, and it might not. You may need to try a variety of different approaches to finding inner peace after your own breakup. Some rely on a Higher Power. If you’re deeply connected to a spiritual source, this connection will affect every part of life. Different people will discover different methods of finding peace and comfort.
These tips are better than any that research or science have to offer. That’s because they’re based on things that genuinely worked for real people in finding peace after they lost somebody they loved. Take your time and explore different methods until you discover what will work best for you.
- Expect negatives and positives to take turns.
It’s both natural and healthy to grieve what you’ve lost. You’re grieving not only the loss of a relationship or marriage, but also the loss of your future hopes and dreams with your now-ex. Finding peace after your breakup will involve expecting and accepting difficult emotions. Your heart, your mind, and your soul all need to heal. Your body is bidding farewell to what you’ve lost, and will need time to prepare itself to begin the next chapter.
Pain and grief come in waves. Some moments or hours will be gut-wrenching. Some hours or days will feel good. Peace is something you won’t feel all the time, but you will eventually feel it more often as time passes.
- Focus on finding balance.
After your breakup, you’ll increase your likelihood of finding peace if you let yourself feel your full range of emotions. When you feel overwhelmed by the misery, rage, or pain, let yourself cocoon for an hour or two. But don’t get stuck in any one stage of grief. Feel anger, but force yourself to find the good in the breakup. Finding a way to accept that this is what was meant for your relationship is among the best ways to find peace after it ends.
Peace will come only if you experience the whole range of emotions after a breakup. But don’t let yourself get stuck in any one of those emotions. You must go beyond experiencing your emotions to expressing them in order to achieve inner peace. Release your feelings from your heart and head. It may help to write in a journal, to draw or paint, or to take a long hike. Genuinely working through the negative emotions will free you up to experience the positive ones.
- Give your anxieties and fears the space they need to breathe.
To find peace after a breakup, you must first process your fears and insecurities. If you don’t, you’re likely to rush into a new relationship before you’re ready, or to make the mistake of going back to your ex for all the wrong reasons.
- Remember the ways in the past that you achieved peace after a painful experience.
You’re the chief expert on yourself. And it’s likely that this breakup is not the first heartbreak or disappointment that you’ve been through. How did you move forward after past losses? What helped you stay strong? How can you apply those insights and wisdom to this situation? You know yourself better than anyone. So deep down, you can be certain about what will work for you now.
- Surround yourself with people who are gentle, kind, and peaceful.
Avoid situations and people that you know will make you feel uncomfortable, upset, unsettled, or anxious. After you’ve moved on and are healed after the breakup, you can choose to spend time in challenging situations and with difficult people.
But for now, strive to connect only with people who are spiritual, encouraging, supportive, and peaceful. This is one of the best ways to achieve peace after a breakup.
- Connect with sources of spiritual peace.
Do you have a connection to a spiritual source of peace, freedom, creativity, and inspiration? You may not realize this, but the time after a breakup is a great time to find peace through connecting or reconnecting with your source of Higher Power. You’ll discover the freedom to be you, the freedom to live more fully, and the freedom to trust that all things, even the most painful breakups are happening in just the way that the Universe intended them to.
What advice do you think will work best for you as you work to find peace after your breakup from somebody you care about? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below. This may help you find freedom, joy, and peace after your breakup, and it may help someone else, too!