It can be hard to feel compassion toward someone who hurt you. You can recognize that they may be struggling and still take what happened seriously. Start by asking what you need to feel safe and steady.
Leave room for what you don’t know
Other people’s motives can be hard to read. If you want to reflect, write down what you observed, what you’re guessing and what you need from them now. A spiritual practice can give you time to consider your own response.
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Compassion with clear boundaries
- Pause and check in Name what happened, what you’re guessing and what you need now.
- If contact feels unsafe Keep your distance. You can wish someone well privately.
- If you want to offer help Say what you have room for. “I can talk for ten minutes this evening.”
- If you want to repair things Name one behaviour that needs to change. Give yourself time to see what happens.
You can care about someone and still need distance.
Choose what you can offer
You might wish someone well privately, decline a request politely or offer limited help. If you want to send a message, consider whether contact feels safe and whether you have the energy for a reply.
Decide what would make repair possible
When you want to continue a relationship, name one behaviour that needs to change. Give yourself time to see how the person responds. You can also decide that more distance is the kindest choice you can make for yourself.
For more support with limits, read practical ways to respond to stress and protect your time.